I am not generallly a person who bears a grudge, and I find forgiving others is usually not a problem. HOWEVER..I am not as good at asking forgiveness. Saying I’m sorry does NOT come easily. It is scary, and nerve wracking, and generally not something we rush to. But if I only offer forgiveness to others, but don’t asked for it myself, I am only practicing half of what God intended.
I was able yesterday, with the Lord orchestrating the whole event, to have an opportunity to ask for forgiveness from someone that I had terribly wronged 4 1/2 years ago. I told you I am slow at this. But I wronged someone that I see about 3 times a week in various places, and over the last 4 1/2 years, we have been cordial – but there has always been this unspoken “thing” between us.
We are studying forgiveness in Wednesday night Bible study, and God has been convicting the hound out of me each week. So last night, I sucked it up and apologized, sincerely, and asked for forgiveness What an experience! They had already forgiven me, but the hug didn’t come until I owned up to what I had done and how wrong I had been! And the relief I felt was SO worth all the struggle!
I don’t say this to pat myself on the back, because I don’t deserve it. I am sharing this to say……apologizing is not NEARLY as hard as the anticipation of having to do it! The enemy has lied to us to have great fear – of humilliation, of rejection, of being seen as weak – andi is robbing us of the joy of reconilication with our brothers and sisters!
AND YET! God so loved me that He died for me, when I didn’t even know or care what He had done (Romans 5:8) And he commands us to ask to apologize to each other so that there will be unity in our fellowship (Epheaians 4:31) and for our health (Hebrews 12:15).
So, I say this morning – GIVE IT UP! Give up the fear, the dread, and the pride! Give up your need to be right, and admit your wrong to whoever needs to hear you say it! Give up the feeling of “that happened so long ago it doesn’t matter”! It does, and God always wants us to deal with it! To Him be the glory and honor as we learn to love each other more!