and yet..God

No Answer But Jesus

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imageLess than a year ago, on a hot July morning, I stood outside a friend’s house, watching police and paramedics come and go.  My friend, Joe, was 43 and had just taken his own life about 45 minutes previous.  As I watched all the people gathered there, questions seemed to explode in my mind.  Why this day?  Why at all?  What if he could have known how many people would gather outside and mourn him just minutes later -would he still have done it?

And why, after losing three of my best guy friends to cancer the year before – ages 56, 50, and 39 – had Joe made this decision?  He was a member of my church too, and he watched all 3 of those men fight for their lives. What did we miss in Joe’s life??

Although my faith is strong, my love for the Lord full, and my future secure in Heaven, I couldn’t find all the answers.  I did come away convinced that sometimes, there just ARE no answers, not this side of Heaven.  Some things we are just not meant to know or understand, no matter how hard they are.  As one of my early pastors said, too, just knowing why is not enough to take away all the pain – we still bear the loss.

Yesterday, two lifelong friends of ours – Rick and Jean, their son and daughter-in-law, and their other 5 grandchildren suffered an incredible loss.  Joey, the 13 year old pictured here, took his own life on Easter Sunday.  Chad & Christy, his parents, made the decision to turn off his life support yesterday, and have now been plunged into an incredible valley that only Jesus can take them through.  Joey’s brothers and sisters are left as well to struggle to understand, and to continue on with their own lives.

And yet.  My “and yet” God has promised never to leave us or forsake us (Joshua 1:5).  He understands the pain of death (John 11:32-36).  He has told us in His Word that the day we are born, our last day is also written down in His book (Psalm 139:16).  And the best promise is that we will be reunited again (I Thessalonians 4:13-18).

So, as I pray for another family facing the unthinkable death of their child, I will still ask the Lord a lot of questions.  I will wrestle with the hard truth that Joey’s death did not “surprise” God – that he knew it would happen before Joey was ever born.  And I finally I will give in, again, to the Truth that Jesus is the only answer and I will not know it until I see Him face to face.

Over and Over and Over Again

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I was reading a most interesting article today on the internet by a writer who was disputing the recent “no chemicals” approach to eating that many people today have taken to extremes.  The writer was a highly educated scientist of some unpronounceable degree, and had many valid points about the chemical “hysteria” that exists right now.  And they were knocking, in particular, a blogger whose fame has taken off with their “toxic eating” campaign. He also made the point that this “fad” would fade away soon, because it wasn’t real. However the most striking thing he said was in order to get people to follow this lifestyle of “detoxification”, you have to convince them that “they have been toxed“.

Isn’t that so true in the spiritual realm too?  Our pastor regularly says that you cannot share the good news with someone and get any kind of result, until they understand the bad news!  The bad news is that we were all born in sin, and have a sinful nature, and we cannot fix that on our own.  Until a person understands that and believes it, nothing will happen.  The good news that Jesus died for them to redeem them from the penalty of sin is not significant unless they realize that they need it.

Unfortunately, we live in a world where today’s bad news is quickly yesterday’s false scare.  Every other “scientific study” will completely discredit the last one. Sugar is good today, bad tomorrow.  This causes cancer today, and yet tomorrow it is only a maybe.  Same with people, except in reverse.  Today’s hero – politician, athlete, television personality – is tomorrow’s headline maker for all the wrong reasons.  Nothing seems to be the same from one day to the next.

Then what are we to do?  Live it.  Over and over and over again.  The world will not be impressed by another “here today, gone tomorrow” in ANYONE’S life.  Part of the problem that we encounter in witnessing to others is that sometimes it looks like just another fad in our lives..and that it’s not real.  We will never convince anyone that they are “toxed” – sinners in need of a Savior – by saying we have One and then living like we don’t!

So, let’s detoxify our lives, and our witness by being the same yesterday, today and tomorrow.  And let’s show others that there IS a problem with their lives if they don’t know Jesus, and then let’s live it to the point that they believe it’s real!

Living Easter Day by Day

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10403285_943106499066799_9100973137571227845_n[1]Celebrating Easter yesterday was amazing.  It was joyful, exciting, and had so many beautiful songs of worship and praise.  In my case, it also included watching our young children do their Easter program.  The church was filled with beautiful clothes in pinks, light greens, and all pastel colors in between. It was a sparkling blue day outside, with hardly a cloud after a week of gloomy cloudy weather.

However – our community has lost 3 young people in the last few weeks – a 15 year old and a 19 year old to auto accidents, and a 14 year old to a freak accident on a baseball field where he was hit in the head.  It is always hard to lose that many lives in such a short time, but even more when they were so young. It has sparked a lot of conversation about life and death at work, in our churches, and in our community.  During Spring Break last week, one of our elementary school principals died of a massive heart attack at the age of only 51.  There was a whole school today that was in mourning on a very tough first day back.

Thinking about all this today I could relate to the apostles.  Just after experiencing the unbelievable excitement and wonder of the resurrection of Jesus, they were “left” by Him after 40 days when He ascended to Heaven.  And I am sure their question was the same as mine today – now what??  After all, Resurrection Day for them was filled with awe, relief, and affirmation that Jesus was who He said He was.  And then…they were alone again.  The Holy Spirit was coming, but the physical reassuring presence of Jesus was gone.  AND He left them with the commandmant to take the gospel to the whole world!

We face the same situation today.  The world that watched us celebrate Easter yesterday is still watching.  They want to know how we handle the day after.  They want to know if it really makes a difference in daily life. In my community there are people grieving and trying to go on after major loss, and they want to know how our faith can help them.  They need to know that Jesus is not just there for the good times, but in the tragedies as well.  And WE have been commanded to show them.  My prayer today is that God will be glorified as we share Him in the midst of life after Easter.

Hope Available Here!

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DSCN0526DSCN0527I was inspired today to do a (little) spring cleaning, and our screened in back porch this time of year is always a sorry mess.  Pollen has literally invaded every inch of it, including the white (now yellow) cat!

We also have patio furniture out there underneath all that, and the table has an opaque glass top.  I can’t wait every year to tackle it when the visible pollen is finally through, because it is really sad when you can’t even see through the glass!  Before I cleaned it, however, I had a thought, and turned on the porch light to take a picture (picture on left).  You can barely see the light reflecting in it.  Then after washing it thoroughly, I took the same picture – and look at the results (picture on right)!  Amazing, isn’t it?

God used this to remind me, with Easter coming tomorrow, about what a difference He has made in my life.  We are all made in the image of God, and are designed to bring Him glory and honor.  And we are also created to reflect HIS image in our lives, and not our own!  You can see, however, that when sin (the dirt and pollen) collect and are not attended to, His light cannot hardly shine through us.  All the world can see (as in me looking at this table before) is dirt and ugly and annoyance that something designed to be beautiful, designed to reflect, is not doing it!

Put another way, if I had company and invited them to eat on the table on the right, I would be embarrassed and they would be totally turned off.  And who could blame them?  But I sometimes don’t have any trouble living in this world, or inviting others to my church, or sharing the gospel with the unsaved….and I SHOULD be embarrassed by the sinI have been harboring or the way I have been living…and they are always turned off!

So, as we celebrate Easter tomorrow, and the gift of salvation that Jesus made possible for us on the cross, lets also analyze which table top we represent – and ask God to make all things new by repenting and allow Him to wash us clean again!

I Have a BIG God!

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I grew up in the “golden age” of Biblical movies, back when Hollywood would bring the Bible to the big screen in a mostly accurate way with at least some reverence for the subject material.

Having said that, I tried to watch “Exodus: Gods and Kings” with my hubby last night.  I really did try.  But halfway through we turned it off…not because we were offended necessarily, but because of the inaccuracies and the sad treatment of my “and yet!” God.

I am NOT writing to bash this movie, because I know that those who aren’t Christians cannot correctly interpret what they do not know or believe.  I am, however, writing because of the way that God was portrayed.  When Moses first encounters God, and then in another scene, God is portrayed as a little boy.  No booming voice, no mystery, no awe, just a simple ordinary human, and a child at that.  Which shows just how far our world’s opinion of God has fallen.  No longer is He shown as an all powerful, big, bold God.  He has been made to look like what the world can accept – a small, ineffective person who can waver in his opinions and doesn’t have a lot of power.

Of course God did not let me stop there.  Hollywood is not the only place where God is made small.  I know many honest, sincere people in church – many of whom have trusted the Lord for their salvation – who worship a small God.  They know He is able to remove their sin and get them into heaven….but it pretty much stops there.  They don’t see Him as a personal, intimate God, who cares about every aspect of their lives.  Or who has a plan for their lives, who wants good things for them, and who wants to have fellowship with them on a daily basis.  They come and worship Him on Sundays, but they don’t seek Him out during the rest of their daily lives.

There are also many people in churches today who have a small God.  They are the ones who look like Christians, know all the right words, and can quote the Bible back and front.  But in their hearts, they don’t believe.  They can live in sin – of all kinds – and think that God really doesn’t care, or can’t really do anything about it.  They don’t recognize His holiness, or His power to judge – or even that He has a right to.

None of these images of our holy, risen Savior God is accurate!  As we celebrate Easter this Sunday, maybe we just all need to look inside, and examine ourselves, and see if WE are worshipping our great BIG God!  To Him be ALL the glory!

Fighting Inflammation

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Although I absolutely love being back at Chick Fil A, my knees, legs, and feet are NOT having a good time….at all!!  I have developed osteo-arthritis, and I have a bone spur underneath my right knee.  Which was not a big deal, really, when I sat all day in front of a computer.

Now, however, I am in constant search of advil, aleve, tylenol, you get the picture!  4 hour days are not easy, but they are doable.  The longer shifts are still a constant fight between my knees and my stomach – as in, I can only take so many Nsaids before trouble begins.  So, I have a counter full of other remedies…epson salt, epson salt/lavender/camomille bath stuff, Blue Emu (yes, really) pain relief gel, etc.  I have tried three different knee braces, and not one of them fits my currently chubby upper thighs!  Believe me when I say “one size fits all!”  and “adjustable to any size!” are empty promises.  And I have two pair of heavyduty comfort wear shoes.  I’d say I have spent at least $150 trying to make working there not just possible, but relatively painfree.

Yesterday, however, I was reading an article about arthritis and inflammation, hoping for some new enlightenment.  And, DUH! I have spent all my time and efforts on curing the symptoms of my disease…and haven’t been paying attention to eliminating a lot of the cause of the disease.  And other than the weight issue that I wrote about the other day, there is the issue of inflammation. Caused by diet, in great part.  As in, I can help my own cause.  Which, I admit, I already knew some of, but was not willing to want to “remember”.  There are foods that I can avoid, and of course foods that I can add, to counteract the inflammation in my own body.  So I am studying, and working out a plan.  Some will be easy (adding fish oil) and some will not (adding walnuts, minus the brownies I usually put them in)!  But actually doing will be MUCH more effective than treating the symptoms!

And of course, God is using this to teach me something!  Inflammation happens in my spiritual walk, and in my daily life too.  There have been times that I have found myself miserable, frustrated, worried, or upset.  I can look back to those and realize that I had allowed “inflammation” into my life – gossip, bitterness, anger, sin, pride, and other hurtful things.  I have been in places where my spirit was damaged, not lifted up.  I have participated in activities that caused my heart to be in more pain than my knees ever thought about!  I have listened to the world, and allowed its influence to inflame my environment and keep my eyes off Jesus.  And I also have a shelf full of rememdies – like my bath stuff – that only addressed the symptoms.

The answer?  While I am overhauling my diet, I am going to be overhauling my environment!  I want to be inflammation free, and I believe God will help..anyone want to join me?

Diorama Living

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DSCN0498Robert, my hubby, retired back in October and has ben able to resume his favorite hobby, model car building.  It is therapy, relaxation and fun all wrapped into one, and he is very good at it.  This last model he bought a different case for it, one that included diorama pieces to go inside the model case with the car.

Dioramas are defined as “a model representing a scene with 3 dimensional figures, often in miniature”.  Sad to say in my childhood years and school projects, they very seldom represented an actual scene very well!  But in this model, there are extremely realistic pieces made of plastic that Robert glued to cardboard, etc and the resulting scene is amazing.  It looks completely real.

Just like this model, there are days that my spiritual life feels like a diorama.  I am in my usual places, doing my usual stuff, and saying all the right words.  I read my Bible and pray, smile at people, and go through my day looking totally normal.  Only I know the truth – that there’s very little “real” going on.  And I am not alone.  I see people every day who say they are ok but they aren’t.  I wait on customers who smile at their wildly energetic children, and yet their eyes say “i am SO tired of dealing with all this”.  I know of other people who look like the perfect couple, and their life is full of distrust and lost love.

There are times that we must do that in order to keep jobs and/or not be arrested for acting out on those feelings! Unfortunately, we have taken that habit of “hiding” into every part of our lives.  It can be very risky to be more real, less plastic.

AND YET!  God has called His people to be genuine, authentic examples of what life with Him is all about. We can’t do that if we pretend that we have everything under control and are always doing great.  So next time you feel the need to say “fine” when asked how you are doing, remember this picture.  And remember that people who really know you or see you every day will know when the “diorama” is on display!

Lose the Weight, Already!

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I am loving my new (old) job at Chick Fil A.  It has proven to be a lot of hard work, but a lot of fun as well.  It has also allowed me to reconnect with old friends, and make new ones.

HOWEVER.  I am almost 5 years older than when I last worked there, and about 10 pounds heavier.  Sigh.  I don’t mind being the next-to-oldest employee they have…most of my coworkers could be my children.  But my knees mind terribly!  The days I have a 3 or 3 1/2 hour schedule, everything is great.  But there are 2 days a week when I work either 7 or 8 hours.  And Chick just replaced the rubber floor (which is not as hard on feet) with a standard tile.  And like today, I come home walking funny and soaking my feet immediately after getting home…not to mention the Tylenol and Advil I take to stay at work.

Which brought to mind something I had read, and it basically says for every one pound you lose, it’s like taking 4 pounds of pressure off your knees.  That same study says that if you lose 10 pounds, you are reducing the pressure on your knees by 48,000 pounds for every mile walked!  That extra weight also causes an early breakdown in your cartilege because of the extra pressure.

Like many things, this principle also applies spiritually.  There are many people I know – myself included – who still carry excess emotional/spiritual weight that hinders us in our journey with the Lord through this world.  My knee pain causes me to limp and walk like a 90 year old when I get off work, and it slows me down while I am there.  It takes me a good hour after work to recoup and be ready to do something else.  The regrets and baggage of the past do the same to our spiritual walk.  That extra weight keeps us “limping” through life, not enjoying the walk, and not accomplishing all that we could because we are slowed down by carrying it.  It also can tear down our future ability to be effective by breaking us down.

So, in addition to a renewed commitment to lose weight, which you may not need to do, I am also making a renewed commitment to lighten my spiritual load, by dumping some major past issues, and looking ahead to what God still wants to do with me.  As Paul said in Philippians 3:13-14 “….but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead…”  Anyone want to join me?

No is Only a New Yes!

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Ok, yesterday I got the verdict from my unemployment hearing, and the answer was no…as in nope, you deserved to be fired, and you were, and we owe you no money.  That’s not actually what the letter said – it was all official and said I was disqualified…which is still a not so nice way of saying no!

My initial reaction was the above, along with the thought that my previous employer’s human resource department was sitting around celebrating.  It would also have been very nice to receive 4 weeks of unemployment, and it would have taken away the “sting” of giving 3 1/2 years to them with such an abrupt and untimely dismissal.

AND YET!  That no really means that I am done with my former employer, once and for all, and will now just see them in the rear view mirror of my life, fading away.  Yay!  Also I know that in spite of all the stress and pressure of that job, I would never have walked away from them, because of the salary and benefits that I thought I could not live without.  The job was killing me, but I was making huge money and couldn’t see past that – I thought I had to make that sacrifice.  God knew that, and so He forced me to leave!

AND YET!  For every no, there have been at least two “yes’s”.  Yes to having another job, parttime.  Yes to less blood pressure medicine.  Yes to more time to write.  Yes to a happy work environment, where I can directly impact people.  Yes to watching Him meet every financial need that I have.  Yes to a uniform that keeps me from the constant struggle of having enough work-worthy clothes.  Yes to more time for ministry.  Yes to having a testimony to share of God saying no to me, and thriving in spite of it!

So, if you are in the land of “no”…the place where it seems there will never be another yes…or the place where it seems like the whole world is against you, and you’re not sure about God…relax!  The Scripture is full of promises that God has made to His children, that He intends to keep!  Start looking out for those “yes’s”, and the “no’s” will fade away!  I am living proof of that!

Go Ahead – Make Their Day

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It can happen in an instant.  Someone is in your line, looking like one of any other faces, and then you notice….notice anything….notice SOMETHING!  It can be their shoes, their hair, their jewlery.  It can be a crisp bright blue shirt on a bisinessman, a necklace on a woman, or an awesome hair flip by a teenage guy!  All these things happened at work today, and I noticed and AND I said something to all 3 of them…a compliment to them.  And I got positive, wonderful smiles (the man), a quick thank you (the woman) and a second “just for me” filp (the teenager)!

It’s amazing, isn’t it??  All three of these were just so proud to be NOTICED!  In our techy world of #’s and plastic and self serve, we all enjoy being noticed.  Not made a big fuss over or anything, just acknowledged..that we are there, that we count, that we are still appreciated.  We want to know thst people still know how to talk to each other..and that we are worth talking to.

And why is that so important to us as Christians?  Because you can’t tell me about Jesus if you can’t even tell me good morning.  You can’t tell me there’s a God who wants to know me f you don’t believe I am worth eye contact. Is the picture becoming clearer?

God made each one of us in His image and unique.  Some of us are more unique than others, lol, but still! And if we are born again believers in Him then we are commanded to show His love to the world to attract others to Him.  We can’t do that if we aren’t paying attention to those around us.

So for Heaven’s sake – literally! – go ahead…make their day!  Notice people, compliment them and then watch their faces light up, and their hearts OPEN up to what God wants to say through you!