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Apologies @ $.42

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Being in customer service for a living has its ups and downs, but very few extremes either way.  Yesterday, however, was one of those.  I had a customer, who between a language barrier and a misunderstanding of her order, had a total meltdown in front of me while we were 5 deep in each line at lunch.  Finally with the help of two supervisors we were able to almost make her happy..but she was still very angry and would not even let us carry her order to her table.  Sigh.

About 30 minutes later, she approached my register and waited until I was free, and haltingly apologized and told me that she wanted to order one more thing.  So I rang up her order, took her money, and handed her the change..which she immediately waved away and said, “you keep!  I was ugly..you keep!”

She walked away while I stood there openmouthed and counted the change..it was $.42.  I thought about the fuss, my splitting headache, and the delay other customers experienced..and she was giving me $.42 to make up for it.  Now, i did appreciate the apology, especially since she didn’t have to.  Yet I was left feeling a little shortchanged in the whole process.

AND YET!  Just as I was feeling a little self-righteous about the whole thing, God stopped me in my tracks by this thought and this verse…Isaiah 64:6..which calls OUR righteousness in God’s eyes filthy rags.  In other words, any attempt on our part to apologize to God for ANY of our sin is just like that $.42…totally ineffective and a totally unrealistic of the impact of that sin!  I took a quick minute to express to my Savior once again the gratitude I have for His totally undeserved grace.  And I now have a permanent reminder for every time I feel self righteous..I’ll just remember forty-two cents!

Fighting Inflammation

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Although I absolutely love being back at Chick Fil A, my knees, legs, and feet are NOT having a good time….at all!!  I have developed osteo-arthritis, and I have a bone spur underneath my right knee.  Which was not a big deal, really, when I sat all day in front of a computer.

Now, however, I am in constant search of advil, aleve, tylenol, you get the picture!  4 hour days are not easy, but they are doable.  The longer shifts are still a constant fight between my knees and my stomach – as in, I can only take so many Nsaids before trouble begins.  So, I have a counter full of other remedies…epson salt, epson salt/lavender/camomille bath stuff, Blue Emu (yes, really) pain relief gel, etc.  I have tried three different knee braces, and not one of them fits my currently chubby upper thighs!  Believe me when I say “one size fits all!”  and “adjustable to any size!” are empty promises.  And I have two pair of heavyduty comfort wear shoes.  I’d say I have spent at least $150 trying to make working there not just possible, but relatively painfree.

Yesterday, however, I was reading an article about arthritis and inflammation, hoping for some new enlightenment.  And, DUH! I have spent all my time and efforts on curing the symptoms of my disease…and haven’t been paying attention to eliminating a lot of the cause of the disease.  And other than the weight issue that I wrote about the other day, there is the issue of inflammation. Caused by diet, in great part.  As in, I can help my own cause.  Which, I admit, I already knew some of, but was not willing to want to “remember”.  There are foods that I can avoid, and of course foods that I can add, to counteract the inflammation in my own body.  So I am studying, and working out a plan.  Some will be easy (adding fish oil) and some will not (adding walnuts, minus the brownies I usually put them in)!  But actually doing will be MUCH more effective than treating the symptoms!

And of course, God is using this to teach me something!  Inflammation happens in my spiritual walk, and in my daily life too.  There have been times that I have found myself miserable, frustrated, worried, or upset.  I can look back to those and realize that I had allowed “inflammation” into my life – gossip, bitterness, anger, sin, pride, and other hurtful things.  I have been in places where my spirit was damaged, not lifted up.  I have participated in activities that caused my heart to be in more pain than my knees ever thought about!  I have listened to the world, and allowed its influence to inflame my environment and keep my eyes off Jesus.  And I also have a shelf full of rememdies – like my bath stuff – that only addressed the symptoms.

The answer?  While I am overhauling my diet, I am going to be overhauling my environment!  I want to be inflammation free, and I believe God will help..anyone want to join me?

No is Only a New Yes!

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Ok, yesterday I got the verdict from my unemployment hearing, and the answer was no…as in nope, you deserved to be fired, and you were, and we owe you no money.  That’s not actually what the letter said – it was all official and said I was disqualified…which is still a not so nice way of saying no!

My initial reaction was the above, along with the thought that my previous employer’s human resource department was sitting around celebrating.  It would also have been very nice to receive 4 weeks of unemployment, and it would have taken away the “sting” of giving 3 1/2 years to them with such an abrupt and untimely dismissal.

AND YET!  That no really means that I am done with my former employer, once and for all, and will now just see them in the rear view mirror of my life, fading away.  Yay!  Also I know that in spite of all the stress and pressure of that job, I would never have walked away from them, because of the salary and benefits that I thought I could not live without.  The job was killing me, but I was making huge money and couldn’t see past that – I thought I had to make that sacrifice.  God knew that, and so He forced me to leave!

AND YET!  For every no, there have been at least two “yes’s”.  Yes to having another job, parttime.  Yes to less blood pressure medicine.  Yes to more time to write.  Yes to a happy work environment, where I can directly impact people.  Yes to watching Him meet every financial need that I have.  Yes to a uniform that keeps me from the constant struggle of having enough work-worthy clothes.  Yes to more time for ministry.  Yes to having a testimony to share of God saying no to me, and thriving in spite of it!

So, if you are in the land of “no”…the place where it seems there will never be another yes…or the place where it seems like the whole world is against you, and you’re not sure about God…relax!  The Scripture is full of promises that God has made to His children, that He intends to keep!  Start looking out for those “yes’s”, and the “no’s” will fade away!  I am living proof of that!

Just Give it Up!

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I am not generallly a person who bears a grudge, and I find forgiving others is usually not a problem.  HOWEVER..I am not as good at asking forgiveness.  Saying I’m sorry does NOT come easily.  It is scary, and nerve wracking, and generally not something we rush to.  But if I only offer forgiveness to others, but don’t asked for it myself, I am only practicing half of what God intended.

I was able yesterday, with the Lord orchestrating the whole event, to have an opportunity to ask for forgiveness from someone that I had terribly wronged 4 1/2 years ago.  I told you I am slow at this.  But I wronged someone that I see about 3 times a week in various places, and over the last 4 1/2 years, we have been cordial – but there has always been this unspoken “thing” between us.

We are studying forgiveness in Wednesday night Bible study, and God has been convicting the hound out of me each week.  So last night, I sucked it up and apologized, sincerely, and asked for forgiveness  What an experience!  They had already forgiven me, but the hug didn’t come until I owned up to what I had done and how wrong I had been!  And the relief I felt was SO worth all the struggle!

I don’t say this to pat myself on the back, because I don’t deserve it.  I am sharing this to say……apologizing is not NEARLY as hard as the anticipation of having to do it!  The enemy has lied to us to have great fear – of humilliation, of rejection, of being seen as weak – andi is robbing us of the joy of reconilication with our brothers and sisters!

AND YET!  God so loved me that He died for me, when I didn’t even know or care what He had done (Romans 5:8)  And he commands us to ask to apologize to each other so that there will be unity in our fellowship (Epheaians 4:31) and for our health (Hebrews 12:15).

So, I say this morning – GIVE IT UP!  Give up the fear, the dread, and the pride!  Give up your need to be right, and admit your wrong to whoever needs to hear you say it!  Give up the feeling of “that happened so long ago it doesn’t matter”!  It does, and God always wants us to deal with it!  To Him be the glory and honor as we learn to love each other more!