One of the newest songs on Christian radio right now is by Mercy Me, entitled “Dear Younger Me”.  And while I applaud a couple of the themes in it, it is not one of my personal favorites.  And that’s because I have always had an issue with a certain statement:  “I would definitely go back and redo some/all of my life, IF I could take back the knowledge with me that I have now”.  I have never understood or agreed with that statement, because it seems to imply that out there, somewhere, somehow there is a perfect life, or at least a better one.  As in, having the knowledge I have now would lead to what…better relationships?  Better career choice?  Not drinking away college years?  Being smarter or more spiritual earlier on?

I have always believed that going back, even with what I know today, would result in one thing…..a possibly richer, smarter, and better looking me, making DIFFERENT MISTAKES!  Possibly “better” mistakes, with fewer consequences, but maybe WORSE.  With far worse results.  Because in this life, perfection is not attainable.  We will always sin, always make mistakes, always fall short of dreams and aspirations.  Why?  Because we are human, and not God.  Nothing that we “took back” with us would keep us from failing at something again.  After all, the only way we learn “things to take back” is because of the very mistakes we made. So what would that accomplish?  Not much..cringe worthy moments would still happen.

Paul was VERY clear about this in Scripture:  “….but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead.” Philippians 3:13.  I really think most days that this Scripture was put in the Bible just for me…because I many times have struggled with what I could have/should have done, and when thinking about my past, I don’t always view it in a positive light and remember my accomplishments, just my failures.  However, if anyone had a past he might like to change, it would be Paul.  And yet, he never voiced the opinion that he wished he could go back again and do ANYTHING over.  We don’t see him wanting to void his past of his unsaved life, and his persecution of Christians, because those are the very things that led him to Jesus.  And although he did put many Christians to death because of their faith, just thing how many other people have been brought into the Kingdom because of his writing of the amazing grace that he found!

So what’s the point?  It’s this, to both myself and any of you:  trusting God means believing, with our whole hearts, that every single moment, action, and thought have been used by God.  He hasn’t taken just the “good” moments and events and used them…He has used every failure, flaw, mistake, and sin to mold us into the people that we are today…and HIS work is always PERFECT.  Not us,  not our lives, but His ability to create, remake, and redeem anything and everything for His glory!  So the next time you find yourself thinking….”I would go back TODAY if I could only….” STOP.  As it also says in Scripture, “Casting down arguments, and every high thing that exalts itself again the knowledge of God“…that would be ourselves arguing that some of our past is shameful and unusable….”and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ”…which means we obediently accept that the past is what it is, and we don’t need to wonder what would happen!  May we continue to live our lives IN the present, excited about the future, and praying that God will receive the glory!

I was leaving a grocery store the other day, and observed a very sad thing.  There was a couple, in their late 50’s or early 60’s, and they were leaving the store.  She walked with a very pronounced limp…the kind that makes a person look almost like a penguin.  This made her very slow..and I mean very.  Her husband, however, looked to be pretty much in good health, and he pushed the buggy out the door at a normal pace, leaving her inside alone for a good minute and a half.  Thinking that he was going to pull the car up, I wasn’t overly concerned until I got outside behind her and realized that he was already at the car, putting the groceries in the trunk, and she was still a good 15 feet away.  By the time I got to my car and put my small load in the trunk, sat down, and cranked my car, she had finally reached their car and gotten in.

Now, there was no overt hostility between them, and they have probably lived with her walking that slow that they are used to it.  She might not even want him to walk with her.  But to an outsider, it looked sad.  Until the next day, when I went back to the eye doctor for a follow-up appointment from my most recent cataract surgery.  As I was escorted to this exam room, then another, then back to the waiting room, all I could see of the person escorting me was their back, approximately 3 feet in front of me!  And I as observed them with other patients, the routine was the same.  Always way ahead of the patient, walking rapidly, leaving no time for personal interaction.  Just go, go, go, and move ahead with the next task.  Now I have always followed nurses, etc in doctor’s offices, because they know where they are going and I don’t.  But never at this pace, and never with them so far ahead.  And believe me, the wait for the doctor was not a bit shorter because of all that speed!!  I realized that this had happened on all my previous visits as well.

So what’s the point?  It’s this..in both cases, I saw and/or felt the frustration of someone being left behind by someone who obviously had more important things to do.  And God spoke to me and told me that’s exactly what so many of us are doing today in the spiritual world.  As born again, redeemed by the blood of Jesus Christians, we are charged with and hopefully committed to bringing others to Jesus, so that they can meet Him and have their lives changed by His power too.  And that’s really not hard to do, we’re just way behind in the priority we place on it.  What IS hard to do, however, is to be committed to the discipleship process with new believers.  VERY hard.  Winning people to the Lord takes effort, but many times we just plant seeds, water seeds, or sometimes even have the privilege of harvesting “plants”.   But discipling?  Totally different story!

I believe that God was showing me, TWICE, how it feels like in today’s church to be a new follower of Jesus, or somewhat new, or maybe a struggling follower.  Too many times it is an experience of loneliness, frustration, or failure.  Unfortunately, many of us (me included) are guilty of “tossing about” Scriptures or solutions to problems or crises that others are facing, without taking the time to really get to know what’s going on, and what help they need.  In other words, we are walking AHEAD of them…sometimes WAY ahead of them….and throwing good words back to them, or directing them a mile a minute…when what they REALLY need is for someone to slow down…way down…and actually walk BESIDE them.  You know, at their pace, asking questions, sharing feelings, reading the Word of God with them, praying with them.  Not rushing, or acting as if there are way too many other things in need of our attention.

I believe it is time for us to slow down, and remember that we are a family.  Not a perfect family, but still, a family.  And that family takes time.  Unity and perseverance in the fight against the enemy doesn’t happen overnight.  New followers need to be equipped, struggling ones need encouragement, and those who aren’t NEED to USE their spiritual gifts to minister!! So, next time you see someone rushing ahead of another person, or you feel you are being rushed yourself, let God speak to you, and remind you of your duty to simply SLOW DOWN.  He can work through us a lot better that way!

Being the good and protection oriented citizens that we are, Robert and I have smoke detectors strategically placed in our house, AND we also change the batteries in them twice a year as recommended.  However, they will occasionally not make it to the next “official” change time, and they ALWAYS stop working in the middle of the night.  Never in the daytime, when people are prepared to fix them, but always at midnight.  And the beep….beep….beep….beep will awaken even the soundest sleepers!  This happened to us the other night, and it was the usual exciting time of “your turn to check” and then the fumbling around to follow the ungodly noise and jerking the battery out until morning, when you can actually remember where they stay.

Robert got up half asleep and found the offending detector, removed the battery, and came back to bed.  We rolled over, and immediately heard another beep.  Then another.  I gently nudged him (he will say punched) and told him to repeat the battery removal with smoke detector number two.  My extremely intelligent husband said at that point “that’s the same detector (not wanting to get up again) and of course, when it beeped again, I informed him that it was not.  He said, as it beeped yet again, “I’m telling you it is, they have a capacitor, and there is stored up energy in it still.  The beeps are getting further apart and they will stop.”  Really??  At midnight he comes up with capacitor and stored energy??  So I actually fell for it for a couple of minutes, and found myself TIMING the distance between the beeps, as ashamed as I am to admit it!  When I realized they were still happening at regular intervals, I insisted he get up and “check the other stupid detector!”  So he did, and took that battery out, and finally there was peace and quiet in our house.

When I woke up the next morning, I was laughing and still shaking my head at the creativity of his attempts to explain away the continued beeps, all in an effort to not get back up and deal with the second detector. He stood by his theory, and downplayed it all by saying he couldn’t tell that the noise was coming from a different place.  And so it was, until God began to speak to me about the spiritual lesson involved.  Especially today, in our daily walks with Him, there are many dangers (the smoke/fire potential) around us…violence, sin, temptation….and all true believers in Jesus as Savior and Lord have a built-in detector (the Holy Spirit) to keep us alert to those dangers and protect us.

Our spiritual batteries also need recharging/replacing, and WAY more often than twice a year!  We’re talking daily and/or hourly, always.  But unfortunately, there are many things that can distract us, and keep us from recharging – almost always our own fault.  And after a time, the beeps begin…the Holy Spirit keeps His promise, as does the Lord, to alert us to the fact that we have strayed.  The beeps begin loud and frequent, and should grab our attention.  Unlike the other detectors, though, they can be ignored..and just as in my hubby’s thoughts, they can get softer and further apart, eventually being completely unnoticed.  At this point, the dangers of the world become a reality, and our hearts and lives become vulnerable and usually attacked  by them.

So what’s the answer?  The answer is being diligent about our walk and relationship with the Lord.  Studying His word, prayer, and complete dependence on Him will keep that detector primed and ready to work…and save us from SO much heartache. And just as we have physical devices in place to keep our homes from being destroyed, how much more so should we have the spiritual ones in fine shape too?  May it be our goal to check our batteries, and keep our lives in His will!

Many of you know some if this story, but not all, and I want to share what God has taught me from it.  Two weeks ago yesterday, Robert came in from being on the lawnmower, said his mouth felt like cotton was in it, and asked for something to drink even while he was washing his hands.  I fixed the drink, and he turned around, and I saw it…the left corner of his mouth was slightly turned down, and when he spoke again he was slurring his words!  We immediately (Mom and I) made him sit down and when it didn’t improve in a few minutes, I called 911.  After 2 1/2 days in the hospital, they determined it was a mini-stroke (TIA) and that he would be fine, he just needs to be more cautious from now on.

But that Monday is NOT when his stroke began!  Five years ago this past March, Robert had his mitral valve replaced in his heart.  It had been faulty all his life, and the doctors had been watching it for the 12 previous years.  Finally, however, it had to go.  His arteries were and still are whistle clean, but the valve had been destroyed.  In the surgery, the surgeon replaced that valve with a steel one because Robert was young enough to have more years left and the “pig valves” only last 5 years.  Unfortunately, however, the mechanical valve is attacked by the body, and the drug Coumadin (blood thinner) became part of his life forever.  We were warned that the level in his body had to be maintained at all times at a therapeutic level to avoid any clots forming around that steel valve.  And so we have been rocking along, checking that level once a month, getting good reports, and thinking all the time that Coumadin was the cure all and we’d never have to worry about clots.

WRONG!  Even Coumadin is not foolproof!  Teeny tiny bits of clot material can still accumulate against that valve..and can eventually make a small clot…which we did not know.  Also, Coumadin is VERY unforgiving..dropping below the therapeutic level for only a few days can cause the floodgates to open to ALL clot material and cause major damage.  Apparently for whatever reason, a small clot had formed and it got thrown off the valve, which led to the TIA.

Soooooo..guess what??  Spiritually it works the same way.  Sin is present in every person..none of us is perfect.  Sin is the clot forming material of our hearts and souls, and if left unchecked it can also cause damage.  In our human efforts to clean up and live right, we are no more effective than the Coumadin!  We can do really well for a while, but little bits of sin are still getting through.  And if we are not viligilant, again in our own efforts, then a spiritual clot is thrown from our hearts, into our souls and our minds, and a mini stroke (or worse!) will happen, causing damage.  It can be mild, like Robert’s, or it can be major…causing permanent damage, paralyzing us, and eventually leading to death and eternity in Hell.

The good news is that unlike our physical hearts, our spiritual hearts can be treated with something 5,000 times stronger than Coumadin!  And unlike the artificial heart valve that will one dat fail, this fix…the blood of Jesus Christ on the cross…totally creates a new heart, AND lasts forever!  That’s the kind of transformation that our scientists and researchers will continue to pursue, but never find!  And that’s the transformation each one of us needs, and needs to share with our lost and dying world!

So how’s your stroke risk?  Have you accepted the permanent cure of Jesus?  And if you have, are you helping others find it too?  It’s never too late to start!

I had the most amazing conversation today with a customer that God used in such a great way!  My customer pulled up and we did all the usual stuff, and as I handed him his money, I immediately noticed his very elaborate tattoo on his right arm…and I do mean elaborate!  Lots of customers have them, of course, but a lot are small, or there are so many on their bodies that none stand out.  This customer, however, only had the one, and it took up 2/3 of his arm.

After being told that his food was not quite ready yet, I felt compelled to ask about the tattoo. I don’t always do that, because some people are still rather defensive about those questions, but he was very nice and open.  And what a story he had to tell me!  The tattoo was of Jekyll and Hyde..literally.  Picture of Jekyll, a dividing line, and picture of Hyde.

When he showed it and I was able to look closer, it was indeed more exquisite and weird than I thought.  So of course, being me, I asked him was prompted him to get that, and his answer astounded me.  He said, and I quote, “that represents the two sides of me, and everyone else.  Not the good and evil thing, but just the different “selves” we portray to the world”.  He then explained for him it was like his professional self at work, and the mask he wears there, and the way he is different away from work in his real life.  He also said that he knows the conduct expected in society, and how that us not how most of us necessarily live in private.

Well my little nudge to ask him about it had just bloomed into a wonderful evangelism moment!  I exolained that to ME, it was a representation of my life before Christ and after, and of the fact that daily I (and every other true believer) struggle with my old nature and old desires!  He looked intrigued and said “really?” so I was able to further explain that Jesus gives us a new nature, but our old habits and patterns are still there, but we fight to let the new nature win.  Awesome!  And of course….I then had to quit.

Now, I am absolutely not writing this to boast about anything I did or said.  I am writing, however, to say this:  in these dark, dark days, with shootings and violence, lying, and other sin running rampant, there is still hope!  And WE are the agents of that hope.  There are so many days now when it seems we have no power to do anything to change our world, and it is so tempting to quit and give up.  ABD YET!!  God showed me again today that HE is still working, and that He is still saving anyone who will come!  AND that He can use an ordinary item..a tattoo..to plant a seed into an open heart..if His people will just continue to be alert to His nudging!  I am so grateful I was used today, and I am already praying to be used again tomorrow!  And may we all remember, that until that trumpet sounds, there is still hope for a lost and dying world!!

There are very few things that make me speechless, but today one happened.  I was talking to a customer who was telling me that that had a day off earlier in the week, after working pretty much 21 days straight, with very little time off.  I told them I was sorry that they were having to work so hard, and they stopped me and said “wait..You don’t understand how much I love MONEY!!

I stared at them, shocked!  And then I said the first thing that came to my mind “Why???  Why do you love money??”  And with desire in their eyes I have never seen before, they replied, “because I have very expensive taste, and that requires money!!”

Oh. My. Gosh.  I was face to face with someone I knew to be single, in their late 20’s, and pretty well off..their car and clothing were not old.  And I was shocked.  I know that there are millions of others just like them in our world, but I had never seen someone so honest to say basically that money was the driving force in their life, and they weren’t upset by that!

It also occured to me, right after that, that I am so naive sometimes!!  Being an Atlanta native frim a middle class family, I grew up knowing the upper class, and seeing what wealth can do.  Getting married to a divorced man with 2 children, I quickly became intimate with barely having enough to live on.  And I appreciate money, I really do.  But I do NOT LOVE money!

All day I have pondered this encounter, and especially this thought, since tomorrow is Sunday.  I will get up in the morning, go to church, and  express my love and gratitude to the One who gave me everything when I had nothing!  And my customer will get up and spend another day thinking about money and how to get more, while they tell themselves they are enjoying their “things” that cost so much!  And that breaks my heart, because what I have been given is eternal, and what they have can be taken away or destroyed in the blink of an eye.

I want to say again that I am not bashing money or things.  I am not even “bashing” the person that said this, because in other conversations I have picked up that they don’t know Jesus.  But i am so grateful that God has used this event to wake me up to two things:  the world is a lonely, greedy place, full of things that do not fulfill.  AND it is my responsibilty to make SURE my life never reflects that same attitude!  I am praying that God will continue to use this to purify my heart and make sure I have the proper response to everything I have.  I am also asking Him for more opportunities to share with this customer what true riches are.

How about you?  Need to do an inventory of your stuff and what it means to you?  Need to check your own priorities?  Me too, way more often than I have!  May God receive all the glory as we do!

These are two of our granddaughters, and we were spending some time with them at Skyzone, the trampoline heaven for thousands of kids and adults.  I got this picture of them just after they hit the foam pit at 60 mph…ok, well maybe 25!  And while watching all the jumpers, from about a year old to probably 18 years, it was amazing to see how fearless they all were!  

There’s a trampoline mat right before the edge of the pit, and the goal is to jump higher and higher, then fling yourself into the pit.  For the littlest ones, that mean literally running and falling.  But for the older ones, that meant flinging, diving, or even backflipping at full speed into a mass of foam bricks, only to get up and do it all over again.

As I continued to watch the jumpers, I felt this incredible wave of pure envy wash over my whole being!  Not for the physical ability they had, because I know my limits.  But their attitude!  Fearless, excited, totally abandoned to the moment and the possibilities each jump had.  Total trust that leaping forward was a GOOD thing…and that someone had prepared everything so they would not get hurt. 

So, you may ask?  What’s the point?  It’s this!  I was overwhelmed by memories of my spiritual journey when I had felt and acted the way those kids had!  I remembered great big LEAPS of faith in my past, and I was SO overcome with intense longing to be that way again!  Memories of accepting the challenege of a year long discipleship course where we felt our call to missions.  Memories of accepting that call, abd driving an hour each way every Monday night for 5 years to attend seminary while we both worked fulltime, and of refining what that missions call meant.  The memory of leaving Georgia to live in Denver for two years, right after Robert’s daughter told us she was pregnant with her first child, and knowing we would miss the birth!  And SO many more!

I found myself, upstairs in that adult courtesy lounge, begging God to do it again!  To challenge me, change me, and give me a great BIG assignment once more!  And praising Him for the continual gift to be used by Him, even once, to expand HIS Kingdom and for HIS glory!

So that’s what!  And here’s the best part: (1) a BIG assignment may not be big in the world’s eyes, but it will be to God!  (2) BIG assignments grow BIG faith, and we all need strengthening to face the continual darkness in our world! And (3), BIG assignments are available to ANY child of God who just says yes!!

Isn’t now the BEST time for some foam pit faith???

I learned how to cross-stitch (a form of embroidery) in the early 80’s when it was just becoming popular.  Although I had crocheted for a few years, I was skeptical of learning such detailed work with such comparatively tiny stitches.  Therefore I was extremely pleased when my first project was completed and I took it to show the lady who taught me.  She affirmed my skill and complimented me, but then startled me by saying it wasn’t finished yet.  I stared at her like I wasn’t sure what I heard, and she repeated it..it was not finished!

She then explained the last step to me by picking up a needle with black thread in it, and she began to outline the edge of each stitch with that black thread.  Then she told me I had to do every bit of the design (it was a teddy bear) with the black..not missing any stitches.  I smiled as I took it back from her, but inwardly I was groaning and complaining about the tedious task ahead of me!  And why BLACK??  Sure it was a big mistake, I finished and brought it back later..astonished at what I had learned!  

You see, as I outlined each section..paws, ears, bows, etc with black, they seemed to pop off the fabric with their colors!  Their shape became distinct, sharp, and uniquely beautiful as the black surrounded them.  As I worked and warched, I was amazed at the difference happening right in front of me.  A design that had been very pretty but “flat” looking, now had a wonderful 3D look!  Although in every design after that I never looked forward to the black thread stage, I endured it much better knowing what the end result would be.

So what’s the point?  Just this: those who are creative are not the only ones who use black!!  God ALSO uses black..evil..darkness..in our lives and in this world..and for the same reason!  He ALLOWS the enemy and living in a fallen world to “show off” HIS work -us (the cross-stitch design) for HIS glory!  He “outlines” His designing of us with sorrow, hardship, heartache, and sometimes tragedy…black “thread” in the Master’s hands!  And as we struggle with those things, we forget that God is seeing something amazing!  He is watching our image become more and more like Him, our colors (faith) popping off the fabric, and our testimony becoming unique and sharply in focus!

And that is when GOD receives all the credit.  When we are 3D, real children of His, trusting in Him, and overcoming the struggles, we bring vivid light and color to this dark and evil world….standing out from the other fabric.  That in turn makes people notice HIM in our lives, and cause them to desire Him in their own lives!  

So next time darkness closes in, and life is hard, just remember there is a Master Artist using black thread for His glory!

I have a lot of artistic types in my friends and family, and I am one also.  I have crocheted since I was 12, and my heart is happiest in the yarn aisle of Hobby Lobby contemplating all the wonderful color choices and how I can blend them together!  However, many artistic people suffer from the same disease..not always knowing when a work is done.

My mom, who is a painter, actually gave a painting away once, because everytime she passed it in her hallway, she took it down to “fix” something!  I have friends who have added “just a pinch more” to a recipe, only to end up with a muddled taste.  And a cake baking contest I used to watch always had one baker who would not know when to quit decorating, leading to an overdecorated, eye hurting design.  And we all know that one woman who has a ring on every finger, all in different shapes and colors!

Our lives are also works of art…uniquely planned and created by our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.  And unlike us, He always knows just which colors to use, design to make, AND He knows when each of His masterpieces is finished.

Two weeks ago tomorrow, our community suffered an unimaginable tragedy when we list five beautiful young lives to a fire.  They lived together, and died together.  The tragedy was compounded even further when it was found out that the person who “escaped” the fire, was actually the one who shot and killed all of them, then set the fire to cover the evidence. All of the victims were age 20-22, and all of them were friends with their killer….an unbelievably horrible event that we will never fully understand. Worlds were turned upside down as family members were contacted at church and other places, asking them to “just come home now”.  As the word quickly spread, the question of WHY began to spread with it..with no solid answers.

And yet.  I just stated that our God is always perfect in His work..He always knows when His masterpieces are done.  In fact, He even put this verse in the mind of David to affirm it:  “Thine eyes have seen my unformed substance, and in Thy book they were all written, the days that were ordained for me when as yet there was not one of them” Psalm 139:16  Because God does not make mistakes, when each one of our five young adults were conceived, they were all assigned the same day that their masterpiece would be completed. 

That is SO hard to understand! Like my Mom, we would have continued to add brushstrokes..we would have painted in wives and husbands, children and families, great accomplishments and careers.  We would have added rocking chairs on porches, where lives would have peacefully ended in ripe old age.  We would NEVER have stopped painting so soon!

And yet.  If we are true believers, bought with the blood of Jesus, we must totally accept that He sees the whole picture..that He has a plan we cannot see…and that His knowledge and timing are perfect. It doesn’t make it easier, it doesn’t take away the pain and sorrow, and it doesn’t explain things.  But it can provide comfort when five beautiful people are ripped out of our presence, and we are left behind to carry on.  May God continue that comfort as we face the days ahead together.

There’s a trend going on in my life right now, and it’s this…God has been putting me constantly in situations where humility seems to be the lesson I most need to learn!  My goal is to allow the Lord to continue to grow and change me; but the speed with which He has answered lately has caused me on more than one occasion to be shocked at what He finds in my life and heart!

I have noticed as I get older that my frustration with wrong doing in others gets bigger and more pressing.  That’s not all bad, because I am quicker to stand up for truth and right now than I ever have been before.  The bad part of that is that I am also more judgmental and less gracious with those who are doing wrong than I used to be.

That being said, I was talking to a good friend the other day about something another person was doing in just flat out in rebellion of authority.  I laid out the situation, and among other things they told me this:  the best response I could have was to make sure I was not rebelling in any way either…so the accused, when confronted, would not be able to turn it right around on me.

Wow.  That hit me right upside the head, and I could clearly hear the voice of the Lord saying, “Listen, Beth, listen!”  And believe me, I was!  I thanked my friend and left..startled into realizing what he had just said.  In other words, I could be upset with the behavior that I thought was rebellious, but…!

And so I realized again, as I began to allow the Lord to examine my heart and life that the old saying is very true…if you concentrate on your own faults and fixing them, you will be too occupied to notice others’ faults.  I have spent the last few days in “fix” mode, and sure enough my frustration level has dropped.  My level of mercy has also increased, as I rejoice in the mercy God is showing me.

So what’s the point?  Just this:  the world we live in is a harsh and unforgiving place, and we are all tempted at times to “cut corners” on the truth, or to lash out at authority, in my person’s case, because we are feeling helpless in controlling so much in our lives.  Our response, as children of God, should be to point out error, but to do so with a heart of mercy, not anger, and to not allow others’ wrongs to distract us from our own!  To God be the glory as we represent Him every day!