anger

Apologies @ $.42

/ tilson123 / Leave a comment

Being in customer service for a living has its ups and downs, but very few extremes either way.  Yesterday, however, was one of those.  I had a customer, who between a language barrier and a misunderstanding of her order, had a total meltdown in front of me while we were 5 deep in each line at lunch.  Finally with the help of two supervisors we were able to almost make her happy..but she was still very angry and would not even let us carry her order to her table.  Sigh.

About 30 minutes later, she approached my register and waited until I was free, and haltingly apologized and told me that she wanted to order one more thing.  So I rang up her order, took her money, and handed her the change..which she immediately waved away and said, “you keep!  I was ugly..you keep!”

She walked away while I stood there openmouthed and counted the change..it was $.42.  I thought about the fuss, my splitting headache, and the delay other customers experienced..and she was giving me $.42 to make up for it.  Now, i did appreciate the apology, especially since she didn’t have to.  Yet I was left feeling a little shortchanged in the whole process.

AND YET!  Just as I was feeling a little self-righteous about the whole thing, God stopped me in my tracks by this thought and this verse…Isaiah 64:6..which calls OUR righteousness in God’s eyes filthy rags.  In other words, any attempt on our part to apologize to God for ANY of our sin is just like that $.42…totally ineffective and a totally unrealistic of the impact of that sin!  I took a quick minute to express to my Savior once again the gratitude I have for His totally undeserved grace.  And I now have a permanent reminder for every time I feel self righteous..I’ll just remember forty-two cents!

Just Give it Up!

/ tilson123 / Leave a comment

I am not generallly a person who bears a grudge, and I find forgiving others is usually not a problem.  HOWEVER..I am not as good at asking forgiveness.  Saying I’m sorry does NOT come easily.  It is scary, and nerve wracking, and generally not something we rush to.  But if I only offer forgiveness to others, but don’t asked for it myself, I am only practicing half of what God intended.

I was able yesterday, with the Lord orchestrating the whole event, to have an opportunity to ask for forgiveness from someone that I had terribly wronged 4 1/2 years ago.  I told you I am slow at this.  But I wronged someone that I see about 3 times a week in various places, and over the last 4 1/2 years, we have been cordial – but there has always been this unspoken “thing” between us.

We are studying forgiveness in Wednesday night Bible study, and God has been convicting the hound out of me each week.  So last night, I sucked it up and apologized, sincerely, and asked for forgiveness  What an experience!  They had already forgiven me, but the hug didn’t come until I owned up to what I had done and how wrong I had been!  And the relief I felt was SO worth all the struggle!

I don’t say this to pat myself on the back, because I don’t deserve it.  I am sharing this to say……apologizing is not NEARLY as hard as the anticipation of having to do it!  The enemy has lied to us to have great fear – of humilliation, of rejection, of being seen as weak – andi is robbing us of the joy of reconilication with our brothers and sisters!

AND YET!  God so loved me that He died for me, when I didn’t even know or care what He had done (Romans 5:8)  And he commands us to ask to apologize to each other so that there will be unity in our fellowship (Epheaians 4:31) and for our health (Hebrews 12:15).

So, I say this morning – GIVE IT UP!  Give up the fear, the dread, and the pride!  Give up your need to be right, and admit your wrong to whoever needs to hear you say it!  Give up the feeling of “that happened so long ago it doesn’t matter”!  It does, and God always wants us to deal with it!  To Him be the glory and honor as we learn to love each other more!