anxiety

Fighting Inflammation

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Although I absolutely love being back at Chick Fil A, my knees, legs, and feet are NOT having a good time….at all!!  I have developed osteo-arthritis, and I have a bone spur underneath my right knee.  Which was not a big deal, really, when I sat all day in front of a computer.

Now, however, I am in constant search of advil, aleve, tylenol, you get the picture!  4 hour days are not easy, but they are doable.  The longer shifts are still a constant fight between my knees and my stomach – as in, I can only take so many Nsaids before trouble begins.  So, I have a counter full of other remedies…epson salt, epson salt/lavender/camomille bath stuff, Blue Emu (yes, really) pain relief gel, etc.  I have tried three different knee braces, and not one of them fits my currently chubby upper thighs!  Believe me when I say “one size fits all!”  and “adjustable to any size!” are empty promises.  And I have two pair of heavyduty comfort wear shoes.  I’d say I have spent at least $150 trying to make working there not just possible, but relatively painfree.

Yesterday, however, I was reading an article about arthritis and inflammation, hoping for some new enlightenment.  And, DUH! I have spent all my time and efforts on curing the symptoms of my disease…and haven’t been paying attention to eliminating a lot of the cause of the disease.  And other than the weight issue that I wrote about the other day, there is the issue of inflammation. Caused by diet, in great part.  As in, I can help my own cause.  Which, I admit, I already knew some of, but was not willing to want to “remember”.  There are foods that I can avoid, and of course foods that I can add, to counteract the inflammation in my own body.  So I am studying, and working out a plan.  Some will be easy (adding fish oil) and some will not (adding walnuts, minus the brownies I usually put them in)!  But actually doing will be MUCH more effective than treating the symptoms!

And of course, God is using this to teach me something!  Inflammation happens in my spiritual walk, and in my daily life too.  There have been times that I have found myself miserable, frustrated, worried, or upset.  I can look back to those and realize that I had allowed “inflammation” into my life – gossip, bitterness, anger, sin, pride, and other hurtful things.  I have been in places where my spirit was damaged, not lifted up.  I have participated in activities that caused my heart to be in more pain than my knees ever thought about!  I have listened to the world, and allowed its influence to inflame my environment and keep my eyes off Jesus.  And I also have a shelf full of rememdies – like my bath stuff – that only addressed the symptoms.

The answer?  While I am overhauling my diet, I am going to be overhauling my environment!  I want to be inflammation free, and I believe God will help..anyone want to join me?

No is Only a New Yes!

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Ok, yesterday I got the verdict from my unemployment hearing, and the answer was no…as in nope, you deserved to be fired, and you were, and we owe you no money.  That’s not actually what the letter said – it was all official and said I was disqualified…which is still a not so nice way of saying no!

My initial reaction was the above, along with the thought that my previous employer’s human resource department was sitting around celebrating.  It would also have been very nice to receive 4 weeks of unemployment, and it would have taken away the “sting” of giving 3 1/2 years to them with such an abrupt and untimely dismissal.

AND YET!  That no really means that I am done with my former employer, once and for all, and will now just see them in the rear view mirror of my life, fading away.  Yay!  Also I know that in spite of all the stress and pressure of that job, I would never have walked away from them, because of the salary and benefits that I thought I could not live without.  The job was killing me, but I was making huge money and couldn’t see past that – I thought I had to make that sacrifice.  God knew that, and so He forced me to leave!

AND YET!  For every no, there have been at least two “yes’s”.  Yes to having another job, parttime.  Yes to less blood pressure medicine.  Yes to more time to write.  Yes to a happy work environment, where I can directly impact people.  Yes to watching Him meet every financial need that I have.  Yes to a uniform that keeps me from the constant struggle of having enough work-worthy clothes.  Yes to more time for ministry.  Yes to having a testimony to share of God saying no to me, and thriving in spite of it!

So, if you are in the land of “no”…the place where it seems there will never be another yes…or the place where it seems like the whole world is against you, and you’re not sure about God…relax!  The Scripture is full of promises that God has made to His children, that He intends to keep!  Start looking out for those “yes’s”, and the “no’s” will fade away!  I am living proof of that!

June 31st

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When I worked for the bank, in the electronic banking support department, one of the most interesting parts of my job was reading the “contact us” email.  There were emails that make perfect sense, well worded, and straight to the point.  There were also emails that threatened, whined and complained…and I was supposed to come up with some reasonable answer to all of them.

However, there were some that were just downright hilarious, and were amazing in what they said.  One of my favorite ones was a sweet, sincere note..asking for help with their online statement.  It seems they had downloaded the statement, but they felt it was incomplete.  The email basically read “I am having problems with my statement.  When I download it I only get June 1-30 – and I can’t figure out why you cut off the 31st!”. Ok, if you haven’t caught on, June only has 30 days!  And I very politely replied to that effect.  But now when I have one of those days, just the thought “June 31st” can make the worst moment very bearable.

I believe God allows days like that for a very specific purpose.  One is to get us to quit taking ourselves and our immediate “worlds” so seriously…to get us to step back and say, “Really? Am I so worked up about this?”  God does want His children to laugh, and smile, and enjoy their lives…and we need to act like we have unending joy and peace in our lives.

Another reason is to make us humble.  We can be very impressed with ourselves sometimes, and we forget that we are just one step, one thought, one moment in the wrong cirumstances to start downhill towards some very ugly attitudes and habits!  And we just really DON’T impress anyone when we have a judgmental attitude.

And finally, I believe God gives us those days to say, “Look – I am in charge here, if you will just let me work.  And since you won’t always, I have to make you weak so that I can be strong.  In your weakness I shine…so here’s __________to help remind you whose power you need to be walking in!”

So, when a June 31st day happens to you, or maybe a June 31st week, stop.  And look around.  And pray. And ask God what He needs to do through you, or show you, that you aren’t picking up on.  And above all, LAUGH!  To Him be all the glory as we pursue this life as His children!

Shining in the Dark

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DSCN0198I was very blessed to get this picture last fall when I was driving home from church one night.  I love the light breaking through the darkness, refusing to be swallowed up, and shining on.

I always think of this Scripture “Let your light so shine before men that they may see your good works and glorify your Father which is in Heaven.”  (Matthew 5:16). Our world today in general is a very dark place.  It seems every day that there is new wickedness, new brutality, and new evidence of man’s fallen state, and very little of the victory of God and His people.  It is so easy to watch a 30 minute nightly news cast, and think, “what’s the purpose?”  And sad to say, this is very true of Christians as well.  I have heard this more lately than not, “even so, Lord Jesus, come!”  Or “I am SO ready for the Lord to come back and take us home!”  As if there are no more victories to be had, no more sinners to be saved,and no more good to be done on Earth.

AND YET!!  Our God says that WE have the victory, and we are more than overcomers, and WE are the ones He has chosen to use to penetrate the darkness of this world! What gives us the right to give up, if we have the most powerful source in the world – the Lord – working on our behalf??

Look at this picture again.  What is the predominant color?  Black/dark gray.  But what is the color you notice first?  The light!  And why is the light so striking?  Because it’s surrounded by dark!  That’s the way God’s people – you and me – need to be especially now.  We need to look the darkness in the face, and say, “You will not drown out my light – in fact, you will just emphasize it!  We need to remember that God expects us to share that light, and work to bring as many people as possible to Him – because the Scripture also reminds us that He is not willing that any should perish, and that His longsuffering towards us is because He wants to give as many as possible an opportunity to know Him.

So, the next time you notice you are surrounded by darkness, remember – that’s your time, and God’s, to really show off His love and let others see Jesus in you!  Remember – we have the rest of eternity to live in His light – so what’s a little darkness now?

A Change of Scenery

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100_1299My husband Robert is a “porch sitter” from WAY back.  He spent his first 9 years in the mountains of north Georgia, where life was much more laid back, money was scarce, and your neighbors were mostly family.  They would spend most evenings, especially in the hot summer, on the porch, playing, sharing and laughing.  Therefore for him the best vacation spots are in the moutains, with a porch high up where major relaxing can occur.  This photo was taken at one such place about a year ago, in the foothills of North Georgia – and it was delightful.

As a matter of fact, when we bought our current house, the first thing we saw was the HUGE screened in side porch..and it was a done deal before we ever went inside!

I grew up a city girl, with places to go, things to do, and people to see…and none of it happening at home!  It took me a long time (we’ve been married 32 years) to realize the value of a vacation that involved actual resting – not scurrying around seeing sights, and NOT at the beach -which is what my childhood vacations were made of.

But as I grew older and life got busier, I began to appreciate the time out approach, and now I can’t imagine any other way to go.  Life today can be crazy – and feel hopelessly out of control sometimes.  There are very few moments that truly belong to any of us, with all the demands of our jobs, family, church, and other things.  It is SO hard to just stop..and do nothing.

AND YET!  God calls us to stop. Period. And rest in Him.  Talk with Him.  Enjoy His presence.  Ask HIM about our worries,, and troubles, and concerns. Be with Him.  Let Him remind us of how much He loves us.  But that will not happen, until we find that “porch” in our lives – that quiet place, or quiet 10 minutes, or 30 minutes, where WE do nothing, and He does everything.  He will cause us to feel renewed, refreshed, and ready to go back to our lives, if we will only let Him.  So here’s to some porch sitting!  And may He allow us all to experience the beauty of being in His presence.

That’s How We Roll!

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unnamed[1] (17)This picture is of my favorite, favorite little guy, Anderson.  He is one of the best “and yet..God!” stories of my life.  His parents, Jamie & Candon, came to know the Lord late – after 12 years of living together, and two children ages 11 & 10 at the time.  After their salvation, they wanted to honor the Lord in all things, and they got married in July, 2012.  They had been told much earlier that they could never have any more children…..AND YET!!  Two months after the wedding, Candon was pregnant. This little guy was the glorious result, and after the shock wore off, they realized that God indeed blessed them with this miracle in response to their obedience. Anderson will be 2 next month, and although he has outgrown being my worship buddy in “big” church, he is still all mine on Sundays.

Candon sent me this picture the other day, telling me “this is how we roll at age 2!”  As you can see he  is watching TV, all snuggled up, pillow behind his head, favorite stuffed animal by his side, favorite blanket at his feet, and there’s a juice cup in there somewhere.  All the comforts of his life, and his Mom on standby if he needs anything else!  And that confident look on his face indicates he is seriously pleased with life and he has no worries.

Wouldn’t it be great if we lived our lives that way?  Not that God has promised us all the comforts of life.  To the contrary, He has promised us that there will be trials and suffering, and believing in Him will GUARANTEE that we will be hated and persecuted by the world, because they hated HIM.

But we can live victoriously!  We know, as they say, how it all turns out, and it all works out for good for those that love Him (Romans 8:28) that in all things we conquer (Romans 8:37), and that NOTHING can separate us from the love of Christ (Romans 8:38-39)!  So, while we can’t climb into laundry baskets anymore and expect to be waited on hand and foot, we can still adopt my little guy’s confident smile, and KNOW that we will be taken care of, and we win in the end!  Amen!

Still unemployed??

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unnamed[1] (14)This picture cracked me up when I saw it the other day, and I knew it belonged in a blog – and today seems appropriate!  It is a picture of baby owls, and can I ever relate to how they look!  A little frazzled, a little confused, and precariously perched out on a limb.

Exactly one month ago today, at 4:45 pm, I entered into the world of unemployment.  And I have to say – I was SO naive.  I thought that surely by now I would be happily at work in another position, learning new stuff, meeting new friends, and making money.  And, of course, I am not!

Asking people for advice/comments/input when you are unemployed is a lot like calling the IRS for help.  You can call 15 times, and get 15 different answers to ONE tax question!  Same with this.  It is amazing and also kinda sad and hilarious all at the same time.  “Keep your chin up”.  “I heard about this great new job at (fill in the blank) and have you been to see them?”  “Have you gone for job counseling yet?”  “Did you get professional help with your resume?” And on it goes. Now many people telling me this are genuine friends, sincere in their desire to help, and I appreciate all of them.  But if I were to follow it all I would either wind up as President of a major corporation or in jail after strangling the next person that offered advice!

AND YET!  The God who created these adorable creatures also created them to grow up into majestic, soaring birds, who have become forever immortalized in the saying “wise as an owl”.  And the Bible tells me that he knows them all, feeds them, and knows when one of them falls (Matthew 6:26)!  And as the end of that verse says, how much more does He care for me?

So, watch out world!  This cute and fuzzy ball of unemployed me is about to grow up, take off, and soar like a, well, owl!  And it will all be on the wind and wings provided by my “and yet!” God!  To Him be the glory, forever!

Five Years….Really?

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“Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”  I have been asked that in several interviews/applications, and my first thought is, really??  I know the question is supposed to give the interviewer some clue about your motivations, plans, goals, etc.  But it is also one that puts the one who is answering in a huge predicament.  We all know that the correct answer is “working faithfully to provide for my family, always seeking to rise in the job I am in, and reaching high goals.”  However, my faith and my walk with Jesus causes me to want to answer, “I don’t know because Jesus hasn’t told me yet!”  Or, “I don’t know, because nothing in life is sure or certain.”

I have lived long enough to lose childhood friends to disease and accidents.  I see every day that life is being valued less and less.  According to the news, the economy is constantly teetering on the verge of disaster and the price of gas is going back up.  And in my own life, had I answered that question 3 1/2 years ago, I would have answered it wrong…because I would have said working there until I retired – and look how that turned out!

Honestly, the answer is truly, I don’t know.  In an ideal world, I will be healthy, productive,and doing ministry through whatever avenue that God gives me, and working to provide for those goals.  In God’s plan for my life, I don’t know.  AND YET!  I am not distraught or upset by that!  Knowing that He has promised that He will care for me, that He will never leave me, and that He has a hope and a future for me (Jeremiah 29:11) keeps me content and focused on living the life that He has given me TODAY, and letting tomorrow, next month, or 5 years from now take care of itself!

So….I am have been challenged in answering that question – and maybe you have been too – but to live in a world of uncertainty is not a bad place, when you know the ONE who has the answers, and the power to make them happen!

Denied, but NOT Defeated!

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DSCN0113Okay, so today the score is unemployment 2, me 0.  Or so it appears.  I got my denial letter today for my unemployment benefits,and if you’ve never had the pleasure of getting one of those, it is NOT an ego booster.  At all.  It is rather a reminder of all that you don’t have now (paycheck) and why you don’t have it!  And it seems on that paper that it also says, “by the way, no one cares”.  It doesn’t really, but that is how it can feel.

I also got the news today that the job that I interviewed for on Monday was offered to someone else.  Sigh.  It was one that I was really interested in, somewhere I have always wanted to work and something I have always wanted to do. It was not, however, in God’s plan for me. So, I took myself to the Dept. of Labor and filled out appeal paperwork for the denial, and turned in yet another application at another company, and will buy another Sunday paper and hope for an ad.

AND YET!  God continues to pour out his blessings.  We received our income tax money today and I also received the money from my 401K – which turned out to be MUCH more than I thought (I had not looked at my last statement apparently).  He continues to show me that He will fulfill His promise in Matthew 6:28-29 “Observe how the lilies of the field grow, they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory did not clothe himself like one of these.”

SO!  I am still loved and cared for by my amazing Lord, and He has not forgotten me.  And He has a plan to provide for me until I go home to be with Him.  Take that, unemployment, and turn that score around to unemployment 2, and me 1 very big God!

Challenged, but not defeated!

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“Do not be anxious for your life, as to what you will eat, or what you will drink; nor for your body as to what you will put on…..” Matthew 6:25.  Or, might I add now, as to what you will drive!  Exactly 18 days from the date of receiving my pink slip, I am receiving notice from my car that it is ready to cause us some major repair work.  It is 9 years old, and I have driven it for 6, and it has 150,000 miles on it.  So..its probably time.  But  my first response was so spiritual – really, Lord???

AND YET!  My God, who owns the cattle on a thousand hills, is already making it clear how He is providing and taking care of ALL my needs.  I have 401K money (not a huge amount) that I can access since leaving my job and a 10% penalty on that is going to be very small.  Plus, I picked up our taxes today, and praise Him, we actually do not OWE but a very small amount this year, and we are getting back a very nice amount from the state.  Hallelujah!  That, plus the trade in on my car will give us a very reasonable payment for the car that He provides.  So, unemployment + newer car payment = not a problem for my “and yet!” God!  May He receive all the glory, and may He use my next car to help me minister and work in places I never dreamed about!