death

They Are Precious In His Sight

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10174985_10154140497620454_5344776850501140117_n[1] “Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed, and in Your book they were all written, 1477939_876743832387421_1127893204140839405_n[1]the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them.”  Psalm 139:16

Today is a very special day for me.  And here’s the story of why.

In July, 2012, little Bennett Coleman (picture on the left) was born to my cousin and his wife.  Bennett, whose names means “little blessed one” was welcomed into his family with great joy, joining his older sister and brother.  On April 28, 2013, Anderson Eaton (picture on right) was born to his family with great joy also, joing his older brother and sister.  Bennett is the 10th grandson of my aunt and uncle, while Anderson is my “adopted” grandson.  Both were born into loving, Christian families who are seeking to raise their children in the ways of the Lord.

And in God’s timing, and his alone, Bennett left us a year ago today – on Anderson’s 1st birthday – April 28, 2014.  Bennett was diagnosed with cancer in December, 2013, and after a great fight went to live with Jesus.  In the words of his family, he is celebrating his first HEAVEN birthday today, while Anderson is celebrating his 2nd earthly birthday.

AND YET!  This story is not about sorrow and brokenness and death.  It IS a story about God’s sovereignty, and His plan.  Bennett’s parents have suffered through a year of grief and sorrow and pain – but also, as his mother Megan wrote, a year of watching God work through a very short life.  While Anderson continues his journey here, his parents and I have great hopes for how he will grow up to be a Godly young man and impact this world through his life.  While Bennett continues his eternal journey, his parents and I are seeing hundreds of thousands of lives touched and brought to Jesus because of his legacy here.

How could two little boys been born, and impacted their worlds with joy, and yet one of them be taken back to his home with Jesus?  The verse above is part of the answer.  God, and God alone, knows the span of our lives and what He is going to do with each one of us, whether here or in Heaven.  He is the author and creator of life and this world, and He alone has all the answers.  All we can know is that, like Paul said, to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:6-8).  To Him be the glory forever and ever.

No Answer But Jesus

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imageLess than a year ago, on a hot July morning, I stood outside a friend’s house, watching police and paramedics come and go.  My friend, Joe, was 43 and had just taken his own life about 45 minutes previous.  As I watched all the people gathered there, questions seemed to explode in my mind.  Why this day?  Why at all?  What if he could have known how many people would gather outside and mourn him just minutes later -would he still have done it?

And why, after losing three of my best guy friends to cancer the year before – ages 56, 50, and 39 – had Joe made this decision?  He was a member of my church too, and he watched all 3 of those men fight for their lives. What did we miss in Joe’s life??

Although my faith is strong, my love for the Lord full, and my future secure in Heaven, I couldn’t find all the answers.  I did come away convinced that sometimes, there just ARE no answers, not this side of Heaven.  Some things we are just not meant to know or understand, no matter how hard they are.  As one of my early pastors said, too, just knowing why is not enough to take away all the pain – we still bear the loss.

Yesterday, two lifelong friends of ours – Rick and Jean, their son and daughter-in-law, and their other 5 grandchildren suffered an incredible loss.  Joey, the 13 year old pictured here, took his own life on Easter Sunday.  Chad & Christy, his parents, made the decision to turn off his life support yesterday, and have now been plunged into an incredible valley that only Jesus can take them through.  Joey’s brothers and sisters are left as well to struggle to understand, and to continue on with their own lives.

And yet.  My “and yet” God has promised never to leave us or forsake us (Joshua 1:5).  He understands the pain of death (John 11:32-36).  He has told us in His Word that the day we are born, our last day is also written down in His book (Psalm 139:16).  And the best promise is that we will be reunited again (I Thessalonians 4:13-18).

So, as I pray for another family facing the unthinkable death of their child, I will still ask the Lord a lot of questions.  I will wrestle with the hard truth that Joey’s death did not “surprise” God – that he knew it would happen before Joey was ever born.  And I finally I will give in, again, to the Truth that Jesus is the only answer and I will not know it until I see Him face to face.