faith

Rearranging is NOT Progress

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Yesterday in the Walmart parking lot I watched a very interesting thing happen.  I had just pulled in and something caught my eye in the row across from me.  A woman and a young boy were struggling to get something out of the car..and I mean struggling!  Not wanting to miss out on anything, I stayed put to watch.  They were finally able to get it out after about 10 minutes and it was a very large car seat.  Humongous. They took the carseat and threw it into the back side passenger seat on top of something else. Just then another woman approached with 2 -two-FULL buggies of stuff!  And they were going to that car!

I watched again as they began to put the bags in the trunk they had just emptied.  The first buggy full barely made it in there, and they began trying to stuff part of the 2nd buggy in there as well.  No go.  They finally opened the back passenger side door and began to cram bags in on top of the car seat…up to the ceiling of the car!  Then they stuffed the poor young boy on the other side, they got in, and took off.

So what’s the point of all this?  The point is that they had too much junk in their car to put in what they needed!  AND they thought that rearranging the junk was going to make a difference.

God spoke so clearly in that moment.  The junk in the car represents the junk in my life..all the things I need to throw out because they take up too much room.  The sin, the bad habits, etc.  The buggies represent all the good things, the blessings, the joy, and the peace that God wants to give me.  And I look at Him and say, “just a minute God and I will make room for those”..but all I do is rearrange my junk..not get rid of what is blocking the way! And I am not a bit more successful in creating room for the good things.

moral of this story is, I am going to start throwing out, not rearranging..so that God can work in me and add the good stuff!

What a Deal!

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ClearanceSign[1]Anyone that knows me well knows that this sign is all it takes to get my heart pumping, eyes focused and buggy rolling!  I am a shopper’s shopper, and refuse to buy anything full price.  And also anything “only” marked 50% off – after all, if 50% off is possible, then so is 75%!!  It is such a thing with me that there is a running joke in my family that if I had biological children (I have stepchildren) I would have named them Clearance and Sale.

So on my daily visit to Walmart today, I noticed buggies in the middle aisle and up front, loaded with stuff, and yep, they all said “Clearance”!  I quickly manuevered my way over there, through the hundreds of people (ok, maybe 10’s of people) and scoped it out.  And it was so sad.  Although there was everything from underwear and socks to fishing line and tire inflaters, it was really NOT clearance.  Most of it was marked down anywhere from $1-$5, and that is NOT clearance!  It is just Walmart’s way of making you THINK you got a bargain – when really, you could get some of those prices on any of their regular sales, or at other stores on sale.  But did that stop people from digging through, and loading up their buggies with those so-called deals?  Absolutely not.

There is a spiritual parallel here. So many times the world will throw stuff at us.  They will package it all pretty and nice, and even put a “sale” price on it.  As in, this will make you so cool – cigarettes, alcohol, clothes, etc – or this will make you the life of the party.  Or this – car, boat, perfume, etc – will make you important AND happy.  AND that there is very little cost to you…or at least a lot less (clearance) than you have heard.  Except that just like those “deals” today, you will find out that you have been ripped off.  What seemed like such a good thing really costs way more than you thought. and ususally there is a HUGE price to pay.

AND YET!  God does not treat us that way.  He offers the best thing of all – salvation – and it will fulfill its promises. He also offers it for FREE – not at a discount, but FREE.  And we are never shortchanged in that deal..it lasts for all eternity.  So as I left Walmart today, without any of those  items, I was thanking God for His free gift, and praising His name for my salvation!

Go Slay Some Dragons!

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DSCN0059This picture is from one of our favorite vacation spots in Tennessee -it is the Dragon’s Tail motorcycle route, with 318 curves in 11 miles.  In a car, that’s not a big deal, but on a motorcycle, it’s a WOW!  Robert and I have done it twice, and loved each time. It is also known for the daredevils it attracts, and the wipeouts they have riding through because of speed and recklessness.

And outside the restaurant/gift shop is this bad boy, with a chain around his collar, looking very calm and innocent.  It is easy to have a great big smile knowing the dragon is not real, and cannot harm me.

However, there are real “dragons” in life – and they are NOT tame!  There is real fear connected with them, and there are real battles being waged against them.  The dragons of failure, worry, financial hardship, work issues, change, and instability are just a few that chase us in our daily lives.  And the dragon of unemployment is my current one.  There is also the REAL dragon, the spiritual one, that we call satan – and right now he is not contained and he “prowls about about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (I Peter 5:8)  Doesn’t seem like we have much of a chance, some days, to survive, much less live a victorious life for Jesus.

AND YET!  God is over ever present help in times of trouble, and HE has promised us that if we allow it, He will not only assist us in the battle, He will actually do the battling for us, if we will just trust in HIM (2 Chronicles 20:15). And we won’t face wipeouts, if we do it His way.  So, as I face this uncertain time right now, I believe I will follow the advice that I give a favorite pastor friend of mine, and go slay some dragons! To God be the glory for the victory He gives us through Himself!

A Million Dollar Mouth!

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Big-Smiley-Face[1]

Well, ok, maybe not a million dollars – but a lot!  I am going this afternoon to have my 9th – yes NINTH! – permanent crown put in.  I broke this latest tooth two days after losing my job, and it joins a long list of other dental expenses.  I started thinking yesterday about how much money has actually been invested in my mouth.  Nine crowns x $1,700 each (approx) equals an amazing $15,300.  Add to that 2 cleanings a year at approximately $70 per cleaning through the years, and that totals around $3,500 over the past 54 years. Not even adding in original fillings, those crumbling with time, and new fillings!  Plus those tacky braces when I was a teenager, which adds about $3,000 to the total.  That’s around $22,000 invested in keeping my mouth healthy, my smile pretty, and my eating abilities intact!  And how about the money spent on breath fresheners, toothpaste, mouthwash? Or if I ever flirted with whitening those teeth…well you get the picture.

During my quiet time last night,the Lord spoke to my heart and I wondered – how much “expense” (effort) have I put into keeping the WORDS from this mouth clean, pretty, and healthy?  Ouch!  The Bible has a lot to say about our words – a LOT- and I was greatly convicted by the contrast in sacrifice and expense between my physical mouth and my spiritual mouth.

One of the first verses I learned as a child was Psalm 19:14 – “Let the words of my mouth, and the meditations of my heart be acceptable in Your sight…..”  Psalm 17:3 also addresses this issue “I have purposed that my mouth will not trangress…”  And I could list the other references and fill up the remainder of this page.

So, as I experience the thrill of dental work yet again today, I am asking God to continue reminding me of HIS desire for my mouth..and to continue His work in keeping those words from it “with grace, seasoned” (Colossians 4:6), so that my “and yet!” God can continue to use me in spite of my weaknesses.  Amen!

Still unemployed??

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unnamed[1] (14)This picture cracked me up when I saw it the other day, and I knew it belonged in a blog – and today seems appropriate!  It is a picture of baby owls, and can I ever relate to how they look!  A little frazzled, a little confused, and precariously perched out on a limb.

Exactly one month ago today, at 4:45 pm, I entered into the world of unemployment.  And I have to say – I was SO naive.  I thought that surely by now I would be happily at work in another position, learning new stuff, meeting new friends, and making money.  And, of course, I am not!

Asking people for advice/comments/input when you are unemployed is a lot like calling the IRS for help.  You can call 15 times, and get 15 different answers to ONE tax question!  Same with this.  It is amazing and also kinda sad and hilarious all at the same time.  “Keep your chin up”.  “I heard about this great new job at (fill in the blank) and have you been to see them?”  “Have you gone for job counseling yet?”  “Did you get professional help with your resume?” And on it goes. Now many people telling me this are genuine friends, sincere in their desire to help, and I appreciate all of them.  But if I were to follow it all I would either wind up as President of a major corporation or in jail after strangling the next person that offered advice!

AND YET!  The God who created these adorable creatures also created them to grow up into majestic, soaring birds, who have become forever immortalized in the saying “wise as an owl”.  And the Bible tells me that he knows them all, feeds them, and knows when one of them falls (Matthew 6:26)!  And as the end of that verse says, how much more does He care for me?

So, watch out world!  This cute and fuzzy ball of unemployed me is about to grow up, take off, and soar like a, well, owl!  And it will all be on the wind and wings provided by my “and yet!” God!  To Him be the glory, forever!

Five Years….Really?

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“Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”  I have been asked that in several interviews/applications, and my first thought is, really??  I know the question is supposed to give the interviewer some clue about your motivations, plans, goals, etc.  But it is also one that puts the one who is answering in a huge predicament.  We all know that the correct answer is “working faithfully to provide for my family, always seeking to rise in the job I am in, and reaching high goals.”  However, my faith and my walk with Jesus causes me to want to answer, “I don’t know because Jesus hasn’t told me yet!”  Or, “I don’t know, because nothing in life is sure or certain.”

I have lived long enough to lose childhood friends to disease and accidents.  I see every day that life is being valued less and less.  According to the news, the economy is constantly teetering on the verge of disaster and the price of gas is going back up.  And in my own life, had I answered that question 3 1/2 years ago, I would have answered it wrong…because I would have said working there until I retired – and look how that turned out!

Honestly, the answer is truly, I don’t know.  In an ideal world, I will be healthy, productive,and doing ministry through whatever avenue that God gives me, and working to provide for those goals.  In God’s plan for my life, I don’t know.  AND YET!  I am not distraught or upset by that!  Knowing that He has promised that He will care for me, that He will never leave me, and that He has a hope and a future for me (Jeremiah 29:11) keeps me content and focused on living the life that He has given me TODAY, and letting tomorrow, next month, or 5 years from now take care of itself!

So….I am have been challenged in answering that question – and maybe you have been too – but to live in a world of uncertainty is not a bad place, when you know the ONE who has the answers, and the power to make them happen!

Denied, but NOT Defeated!

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DSCN0113Okay, so today the score is unemployment 2, me 0.  Or so it appears.  I got my denial letter today for my unemployment benefits,and if you’ve never had the pleasure of getting one of those, it is NOT an ego booster.  At all.  It is rather a reminder of all that you don’t have now (paycheck) and why you don’t have it!  And it seems on that paper that it also says, “by the way, no one cares”.  It doesn’t really, but that is how it can feel.

I also got the news today that the job that I interviewed for on Monday was offered to someone else.  Sigh.  It was one that I was really interested in, somewhere I have always wanted to work and something I have always wanted to do. It was not, however, in God’s plan for me. So, I took myself to the Dept. of Labor and filled out appeal paperwork for the denial, and turned in yet another application at another company, and will buy another Sunday paper and hope for an ad.

AND YET!  God continues to pour out his blessings.  We received our income tax money today and I also received the money from my 401K – which turned out to be MUCH more than I thought (I had not looked at my last statement apparently).  He continues to show me that He will fulfill His promise in Matthew 6:28-29 “Observe how the lilies of the field grow, they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory did not clothe himself like one of these.”

SO!  I am still loved and cared for by my amazing Lord, and He has not forgotten me.  And He has a plan to provide for me until I go home to be with Him.  Take that, unemployment, and turn that score around to unemployment 2, and me 1 very big God!

The Gift of Time

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I have been unemployed now for exactly three weeks and two days, not by choice, and I always thought that would be a horrible thing.  I was wrong.  There are some down sides of course – lack of money being the major one.  But there are some surprising things that are actually beneficial!  I have been given this incredible gift of time…just marvelous, wonderful time to rest, regroup, and really decide what shape my life is in, and whether or not I like what I see.  I have this unique time to not have a schedule, not be always going and doing.

And the best part is that I have time with my family!  Robert has only been retired since October of last year, and we had not really been able to “celebrate” that together.  I have to tell you, he is still an awesome guy, and God has given us this opportunity to enjoy each other’s company fulltime.  My Mom and I have also spent a lot more time together – and since she is 74, that is really a gift!  I have learned more about what is going on in her life, and have been able to help her so much more than I have in a long time.

So yes, I am not being paid, and that is not fun.  Nor is the process of searching for a new job, and feeling like I am not fully contributing to our personal economy and/or society.  It is very humbling to be asked why you were let go, and to feel “less than” because of it.  AND YET!  God has a purpose in everything, and He is gracious to His children in all circumstances.  He also has good in everything, and I am blessed and encouraged every day because of that.  To Him be the glory!

Singing in the Rain!

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unnamed[1] (9)AND YET!!!  My God has poured out His blessings on us today to the point that I have almost been speechless!  This car, pictured to my left, has been my “dream car” since it first came out in commercials a few years ago with hamsters driving it!  And in my dream world, it HAD to be green!  So as my car began letting us know this past week that it was getting near retirement, we began the search and found this beauty online.  Went to Tallahassee today, and after a very long day (title and tag switching between states is NO easy task!) drove this 2013 with a small ding in it home.  Just 4 months ago, in a Sunday School lesson I taught on being obedient in your finances and trusting the Lord, I told them about this dream car…and said that I knew it would always be out of my range because of not wanting to tie up money that God intended us to use for other things.

Flash forward to now and here I am!  Unemployed still, yet with THE CAR.  And with a payment so affordable we could even do it NOW (after our trade in and some cash). Oh, yes, and I had an awesome interview this morning for a job that I would love to have.  Do I deserve this favor and these blessings?  Absolutely not.  Am I beyond grateful for God’s provision?  ABSOLUTELY!  Would I still love Him if He hadn’t?  ABSOLUTELY.  But I cannot keep silent when He does!!

As one of my favorite songs says, “How can I keep from singing Your praise?  How can I ever say enough?”  Amen!