unemployment

Go Slay Some Dragons!

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DSCN0059This picture is from one of our favorite vacation spots in Tennessee -it is the Dragon’s Tail motorcycle route, with 318 curves in 11 miles.  In a car, that’s not a big deal, but on a motorcycle, it’s a WOW!  Robert and I have done it twice, and loved each time. It is also known for the daredevils it attracts, and the wipeouts they have riding through because of speed and recklessness.

And outside the restaurant/gift shop is this bad boy, with a chain around his collar, looking very calm and innocent.  It is easy to have a great big smile knowing the dragon is not real, and cannot harm me.

However, there are real “dragons” in life – and they are NOT tame!  There is real fear connected with them, and there are real battles being waged against them.  The dragons of failure, worry, financial hardship, work issues, change, and instability are just a few that chase us in our daily lives.  And the dragon of unemployment is my current one.  There is also the REAL dragon, the spiritual one, that we call satan – and right now he is not contained and he “prowls about about like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour” (I Peter 5:8)  Doesn’t seem like we have much of a chance, some days, to survive, much less live a victorious life for Jesus.

AND YET!  God is over ever present help in times of trouble, and HE has promised us that if we allow it, He will not only assist us in the battle, He will actually do the battling for us, if we will just trust in HIM (2 Chronicles 20:15). And we won’t face wipeouts, if we do it His way.  So, as I face this uncertain time right now, I believe I will follow the advice that I give a favorite pastor friend of mine, and go slay some dragons! To God be the glory for the victory He gives us through Himself!

Still unemployed??

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unnamed[1] (14)This picture cracked me up when I saw it the other day, and I knew it belonged in a blog – and today seems appropriate!  It is a picture of baby owls, and can I ever relate to how they look!  A little frazzled, a little confused, and precariously perched out on a limb.

Exactly one month ago today, at 4:45 pm, I entered into the world of unemployment.  And I have to say – I was SO naive.  I thought that surely by now I would be happily at work in another position, learning new stuff, meeting new friends, and making money.  And, of course, I am not!

Asking people for advice/comments/input when you are unemployed is a lot like calling the IRS for help.  You can call 15 times, and get 15 different answers to ONE tax question!  Same with this.  It is amazing and also kinda sad and hilarious all at the same time.  “Keep your chin up”.  “I heard about this great new job at (fill in the blank) and have you been to see them?”  “Have you gone for job counseling yet?”  “Did you get professional help with your resume?” And on it goes. Now many people telling me this are genuine friends, sincere in their desire to help, and I appreciate all of them.  But if I were to follow it all I would either wind up as President of a major corporation or in jail after strangling the next person that offered advice!

AND YET!  The God who created these adorable creatures also created them to grow up into majestic, soaring birds, who have become forever immortalized in the saying “wise as an owl”.  And the Bible tells me that he knows them all, feeds them, and knows when one of them falls (Matthew 6:26)!  And as the end of that verse says, how much more does He care for me?

So, watch out world!  This cute and fuzzy ball of unemployed me is about to grow up, take off, and soar like a, well, owl!  And it will all be on the wind and wings provided by my “and yet!” God!  To Him be the glory, forever!

Five Years….Really?

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“Where do you see yourself in 5 years?”  I have been asked that in several interviews/applications, and my first thought is, really??  I know the question is supposed to give the interviewer some clue about your motivations, plans, goals, etc.  But it is also one that puts the one who is answering in a huge predicament.  We all know that the correct answer is “working faithfully to provide for my family, always seeking to rise in the job I am in, and reaching high goals.”  However, my faith and my walk with Jesus causes me to want to answer, “I don’t know because Jesus hasn’t told me yet!”  Or, “I don’t know, because nothing in life is sure or certain.”

I have lived long enough to lose childhood friends to disease and accidents.  I see every day that life is being valued less and less.  According to the news, the economy is constantly teetering on the verge of disaster and the price of gas is going back up.  And in my own life, had I answered that question 3 1/2 years ago, I would have answered it wrong…because I would have said working there until I retired – and look how that turned out!

Honestly, the answer is truly, I don’t know.  In an ideal world, I will be healthy, productive,and doing ministry through whatever avenue that God gives me, and working to provide for those goals.  In God’s plan for my life, I don’t know.  AND YET!  I am not distraught or upset by that!  Knowing that He has promised that He will care for me, that He will never leave me, and that He has a hope and a future for me (Jeremiah 29:11) keeps me content and focused on living the life that He has given me TODAY, and letting tomorrow, next month, or 5 years from now take care of itself!

So….I am have been challenged in answering that question – and maybe you have been too – but to live in a world of uncertainty is not a bad place, when you know the ONE who has the answers, and the power to make them happen!

Denied, but NOT Defeated!

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DSCN0113Okay, so today the score is unemployment 2, me 0.  Or so it appears.  I got my denial letter today for my unemployment benefits,and if you’ve never had the pleasure of getting one of those, it is NOT an ego booster.  At all.  It is rather a reminder of all that you don’t have now (paycheck) and why you don’t have it!  And it seems on that paper that it also says, “by the way, no one cares”.  It doesn’t really, but that is how it can feel.

I also got the news today that the job that I interviewed for on Monday was offered to someone else.  Sigh.  It was one that I was really interested in, somewhere I have always wanted to work and something I have always wanted to do. It was not, however, in God’s plan for me. So, I took myself to the Dept. of Labor and filled out appeal paperwork for the denial, and turned in yet another application at another company, and will buy another Sunday paper and hope for an ad.

AND YET!  God continues to pour out his blessings.  We received our income tax money today and I also received the money from my 401K – which turned out to be MUCH more than I thought (I had not looked at my last statement apparently).  He continues to show me that He will fulfill His promise in Matthew 6:28-29 “Observe how the lilies of the field grow, they do not toil nor do they spin, yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory did not clothe himself like one of these.”

SO!  I am still loved and cared for by my amazing Lord, and He has not forgotten me.  And He has a plan to provide for me until I go home to be with Him.  Take that, unemployment, and turn that score around to unemployment 2, and me 1 very big God!

No Comparisons Please!

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I had a most interesting conversation with someone this week.  A friend’s husband hugged me, and asked if I was still unemployed.  I said, “gratefully yes”.  And before I could explain what I meant – that God was taking care of me, and I was learning to be grateful in ALL circumstances – his wife retorted “Well, you must not be REALLY unemployed!”  And she spoke from some experience, because they are currently experiencing unemployment as well.

My first response was, really?? although I did not say that out loud.  But I thought Is Robert and mine’s unemployment less upsetting and frustrating because it’s me, and not him, as in their family? Are our bills any less paid than theirs, and does it really even matter?  The hunt for a job is the same, whether you made $40,000 a year or $12,000….it’s still a hunt.  And it is still aggravating and unnerving all the same.

Later that day, as I was still mulling this over, I realized it was not the issue of no job that was bothering me, it was the comparison!  I was reminded of when my Dad died, and my sister and I quickly tired of the comparisons to other people’s grief..”at least he didn’t suffer” or “at least you had him for a long time”.  Equally not true and not helpful.

God made each of us differently, with different talents, abilities, and most importantly, different losses and suffering, and different reactions to those!  Just because I am not sulking, or having a pity party, or having more than anyone in a situation, does not mean that I don’t feel.  I am being positive about this experience as much as possible, because that’s the way God made me and that’s where I am spiritually.  When a huge flash of lightening and thunder occurred at church last night, several adults in our Bible study were afraid, while others were not.  That’s just the way God made us.

So if you and I react differently to hardship, great!  My “and yet!” God is working on behalf of all His children, and I believe He would much prefer us to follow this verse: “Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15).  I want to make that my goal!

The blessing of “no”

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I do not handle rejection well.  As a matter of fact for a lot of my life, I was a nonstop people pleaser, all because of a deep seated fear of being rejected.  And the word “no” was on my hit list too…I related it to rejection and hearing it was always a source of discouragement for me.

However, with the Lord’s help, I have gotten much better in recent years with accepting that word, and not taking it as personally.  In fact I have learned that “no” is really God’s way of protecting me in a lot of circumstances.  But sometimes He doesn’t just have to shut a door for me, he has to close it AND lock it, and that’s where “no” comes in!

So as I fill out applications, print out and mail resumes, make phone calls, and have interviews in an effort to find my next position, I am experiencing a lot of “no”.  As in no response, no thank you, and no, that position has been filled.  And it is not really any easier to hear than it used to be.  What IS easier is that I am making every effort to keep in mind that God is the one in control, and that He already knows not only my eternal future, but my immediate future.  Every “no” means its not right for me, and He is already providing a new position for me where I can serve, be productive, and learn and grow.

Until then, I will rest and let my “and yet!” God work on my behalf, and I will trust that when the “yes” finally comes, it will be the perfect answer.  To God be the glory!

Unemployment by faith

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As I start this blog journey, I am in a season of unemployment, and not by choice.  Almost 3 weeks ago, on a Monday, I was called into my supervisor’s office at 4:45 and informed that I had just worked my last day at the bank.  I don’t think there are any words to describe how that feels!  There had been a lot of stress, a lot of rumors and innuendo, and some really rough days in the last year.  I just didn’t think that it would come down to “see you later, bye”!

However, my “and yet!” God continues to speak to me and use me, and remind me of all the GOOD that He has in store for me.  For one, I have time to do this blog – which I have always wanted to do, and am thoroughly loving.  Two, He showed me last night that even though they have taken away the paycheck, NOTHING can take away the skills and tools that I have now.  When I first started there 3 1/2 years ago, I had no idea what internet banking meant, beyond signing into my account and checking my balance every day.  Now I know the other side – how it works internally, how to do ACH, billpay, and mobile banking – and how to service those programs, just to name a few.  And they can’t take away all the incredible friendships that I made countrywide, nor the awesome memories I have of all the people I was able to help.

And third, He has given me the gift of TIME.  I have time now to be with my hubby (who is retired) and my Mom (who lives behind us).  TIME to read my Bible more, pray more, and minister more.  TIME to work on what He wants to change in me.  TIME to rethink my plans and dreams!

So, unemployment is NOT what I would have chosen – and hopefully it’s not forever..but until then, AND YET!